A phrase heard from a friend, Jamie Zeitz, at a recent conference has been resonating deeply: “Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself.”
At first glance, it’s a simple statement, but its profound meaning can reshape how we approach our thoughts, mindset, and ultimately, our lives.
The Power of Proactive Self-Talk
Letting the mind wander often leads to uninvited, and typically negative, thoughts. These unwelcome messages—“You’re not good enough,” “You’ll fail,” or “This isn’t going to work”—can creep in during quiet moments or busy days. This negativity stems from a survival mechanism hardwired into humans over millennia.
Fear, while essential for survival in primitive times, often misfires in today’s modern world. In a time of convenience and comfort—with running water, air conditioning, and Amazon deliveries—many of these fear-based thoughts are unnecessary and unhelpful.
This is where the shift must occur: Instead of passively listening to these thoughts, it’s essential to start proactively talking to yourself with purpose and positivity.
Feed Your Mind the Good Stuff
The key to mastering this mindset shift lies in what you actively feed your brain. Daily affirmations, visualization, and positive reinforcement can rewire how you approach challenges and opportunities. A recommended resource for this practice is Lanny Bassham’s book, With Winning in Mind, which emphasizes the importance of affirmations in achieving goals.
Incorporating affirmations into your routine—whether three times a day or more—helps drown out negativity. The practice doesn’t require hours, but consistency is crucial. Replacing harmful thoughts with empowering ones ensures that the “angel on your shoulder” has the louder voice.
Eliminate External Negativity
Sometimes, external influences contribute to a negative mindset. Removing or minimizing these sources is just as important as managing internal dialogue.
- Cut out the news before bed: Avoid consuming anxiety-inducing headlines that disrupt peace of mind.
- Curate positive content: Surround yourself with uplifting information and people who inspire growth.
A Personal Example: Battling Insecurity
An anecdote illustrates the impact of unchecked thoughts: A friend and business partner seemed distant, responding with curt messages and declining invitations to connect. Instinctively, insecurities took over: “Did I do something wrong? Is he upset with me?”
The truth? He was traveling overseas and answering messages when possible. The imagined issues were just that—imagined. This experience highlights a common reality: Fear often represents false evidence appearing real.
Fear is Rarely Reality
Most of the fears that occupy the mind will never come true. They are exaggerated or entirely fabricated by the mind. Instead of letting these thoughts take root, challenge them with proactive, positive self-talk.
- Dismiss negative thoughts quickly: The faster negativity is addressed, the less control it has.
- Amplify the positive: Give the “angel on your shoulder” the megaphone, silencing unnecessary self-doubt.
Take Control of the Narrative
Start talking to yourself in a way that uplifts and empowers. Build yourself up with affirmations, positive reinforcement, and intentional thoughts. Recognize that much of what the mind conjures as fear or insecurity is baseless.
Final Thoughts
This mindset shift—stopping the habit of listening to negativity and starting the practice of proactive, positive self-talk—can transform not only how challenges are approached but how life is lived.
Share this message with anyone who might need a reminder of their own strength and potential. And as always, remember to keep chasing excellence.